As your baby’s due date draws near, your partner is not only dealing with physical discomfort but may also be feeling anxious about the upcoming birth. Now is the time for you to be more attentive and supportive, helping her build confidence and reducing stress. This shared experience can also strengthen your bond as a couple.
In this edition of "Essential Guide for Dads-to-Be," we’ll cover some key points to focus on in the coming weeks and the changes your partner may experience. Understanding her situation will help you provide better support and face the challenges together.
Key Prenatal Checkup: Baby’s Engagement
During this stage, the doctor may confirm whether the baby has “engaged,” meaning whether the baby’s head has descended into the pelvis in preparation for birth.
Every woman’s body is different—some babies engage a few weeks before delivery (around week 38), while others might not engage until labor begins. This process doesn’t dictate the exact timing of labor, so reassure your partner that there’s no need to worry. The key is for her to stay relaxed and focus on preparing for a safe and smooth delivery.
Common Pregnancy Discomforts
Shortness of Breath
Lately, your partner may have been feeling more shortness of breath, struggling to catch her breath after a few steps or even having difficulty sleeping at night.
This is partly due to the growing uterus pressing against the lungs and also because the increased blood flow puts more strain on her heart. If she’s feeling breathless, remind her to take deep breaths, stand or sit up straight, and open her chest to allow for better airflow.
Varicose Veins
In the later stages of pregnancy, your partner might notice varicose veins appearing on her legs, resembling swollen, twisted veins. These can cause mild discomfort or aching.
Varicose veins develop as the increased blood volume slows the return of blood to the heart, causing it to pool in the leg veins. While mild varicose veins are generally harmless, you can help her manage the symptoms with these tips:
- Avoid prolonged sitting or standing.
- Elevate her feet while sitting.
- Sleep on her left side with a pillow under her legs.
- Wear loose, comfortable clothes.
- Exercise for 30 minutes daily, like walking.
- Avoid heavy lifting.
- Wear compression stockings if recommended by her doctor.
If the varicose veins become severe, causing swelling or pain, she may need to see a doctor to rule out thrombophlebitis, a condition that can require medical treatment.
Frequent Urination
You may have noticed that your partner is once again rushing to the bathroom frequently, just like in early pregnancy. She may even avoid sneezing or laughing too hard out of fear of leakage.
This is due to the expanding uterus pressing on her bladder, making it harder to hold urine. Getting up in the middle of the night can be particularly challenging now that her belly is so big. Offer her a helping hand—these small acts of kindness will mean a lot as you approach the finish line of pregnancy together.
Important Things to Consider
With the baby’s arrival just around the corner, now is a great time to start learning more about the birthing process. Whether it’s through hospital birthing classes or talking with other dads, the more you know, the more confident and prepared you’ll feel for the big day.
Understanding Vaginal Delivery vs. C-Section
As the due date approaches, you and your partner might be wondering which delivery method is best. Both vaginal delivery and C-sections have their pros and cons: vaginal births typically involve smaller incisions, faster recovery, and lower costs, while C-sections are quicker but involve a longer recovery time.
The decision isn’t entirely up to you. The doctor will assess the situation based on your partner and baby’s health. If both are doing well and there are no high-risk factors, vaginal delivery is usually the preferred option. However, if there are complications, such as fetal distress, abnormal positioning, or the baby is too large, a C-section might be the safest choice.
Learning About Epidurals
You might be concerned about how your partner will handle the pain of labor. Fortunately, most hospitals offer epidurals, which use a needle to deliver pain relief medication into the spinal area, significantly reducing discomfort during labor.
Some dads-to-be worry about the effects of the medication on the baby, but the amount of anesthetic used in an epidural is very small—about one-quarter of what is used for a C-section—and generally doesn’t affect the baby’s health. If you’re considering an epidural, discuss it with your doctor during prenatal visits to ensure it’s the right option for your partner.
Practicing the Lamaze Breathing Technique
The Lamaze breathing technique is a widely recognized method for managing labor pain. It involves using specific breathing patterns during contractions to help your partner stay calm and focused.
Practicing Lamaze together can make it more fun and effective. You can call out the breathing rhythms, helping her get into a steady pattern. Spending just a few minutes practicing each day will make it easier for her to remember when labor begins.
Be Prepared for the Delivery Room
If your hospital allows for a birth partner, it’s a good idea to be the one by her side. Even the strongest woman might feel anxious when labor begins, and your presence can provide the comfort and reassurance she needs to face the challenge with confidence.
During labor, you can offer water or snacks, give her a back massage, and help her stay calm and focused. Your encouragement will help her stay positive and feel more in control.
Once your baby is born, it marks the beginning of a new chapter. It’s helpful to start learning basic parenting skills now so you’ll feel more confident when the time comes. Discuss baby care techniques with your partner and prepare together for your new life as parents.
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